"Sideways" Author Releases Sequel "Vertical"

When I saw a copy of "Vertical" by Rex Pickett, the sequel to "Sideways" (the novel, not the film), wrapped in cover with the familiar pea green and Merlot maroon colors, I snapped it up. I LOVED the film and saw it at least three times. I will never forget the collective scream of disbelief that erupted from the audience when Miles and Jack scrambled back to their car while being pursued by the trucker--or the outrageous, grotesque and hysterically funny image of his naked blubber pursuing the two. That scene was just one of many in the movie that created a buzz about the film that lasted for years and put Santa Barbara wine country on the international oenophiles' travel itinerary. Visitors from around the world wanted to eat at the Hitching Post and (unfortunately) to drink out of the spit bucket at Fess Parker's Winery.  Pinot Noir sales increased 16%- 50% (depending on which source you believe) and the film grossed over $71 million according to imbd.

I really wanted to love "Vertical" because I was hoping for a follow-up film that would make me laugh as much as the original. Sadly, there's not much to laugh about in this book. The author Rex Pickett modeled Miles after himself, so in the sequel, Miles has written a book about Pinot Noir that was made into a hit movie, making him a media sensation in demand for speaking engagements and irresistible to all women. He goes a binge of womanizing and drinking that makes the Jack character from "Sideways" look like a saint. That could be luridly fascinating or comically entertaining with clever writing, but the disparaging, dismissive attitude the author portrays towards women is frankly disgusting. I'm not overly sensitive toward sexism, but I normally would have given up on the book after the first scene where Miles steals from a woman after having sex. The scene seems contrived for the sole purpose of humiliating and belittling her and setting up Miles as a sexual superman. But, determined to have patience with the book in case it changed course, I pressed on through various sexcapades described in language so derogatory towards women that it was disgusting. I knew this book was unredeemable when Pickett used the word  "receptacles" as a descriptor of the female gender. (Spoiler alert here--don't read on if you don't want to know the plot) Miles is taking his wheelchair-bound mother across country to live with her sister. When they arrive, it becomes obvious the sister cannot care for Miles' mother and he is faced with the unwelcome task of caring for her himself. Unwilling and unable to show her real love or allow her dignity (along the route, he has her impacted tooth removed by a veterinarian), he suffocates his own mother, murdering her with under the self-delusional guise of releasing her from pain.

I never read the original book "Sideways" so it is possible that it was the same dreck as this one and Alexander Payne crafted a silk purse from a sow's ear. However, I can't for the life of me think of how anyone could turn this book into a successful film. Miles was a loser in "Sideways", but he was a sympathetic character who seemed like a good person at heart. We laughed at Jack's whoring and boozing because he wasn't the protagonist. "Vertical" the movie would have a protagonist with a dank and putrid cesspool instead of a heart; it would be a tragedy instead of a comedy. Sadly, the Miles character we enjoyed in "Sideways" is dead, may he R.I.P.

Through no fault of their own, the beautiful Willamette Valley, the kind inn keepers at Brookside Inn and Justin Winery are all prominently featured in "Vertical".  Justin Winery is my favorite place to taste wine in Paso Robles. We just had a bottle of their luscious Isoceles (a “left bank” Bordeaux style blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Cabernet Franc) and I brought their rich, jammy Obtuse (100% Cabernet Sauvignon) Port to the last wine class for the other students to try. Take the lovely drive up to their tasting room in the hills west of Paso the next time you are there--and make sure to stay with Bruce and Susan at the Brookside Inn if you are touring Willamette Valley--you can try their delicate blueberry scones here.